I believe, but help my unbelief!

Have you ever struggled to have faith for something that you know God can accomplish?

Let my story be a gateway for the greater faith YOU need!

Here are my kids and I on the front porch of the house God provided for us when we lived in KC

Struggling to Have Faith

Have you ever struggled to have faith for something that you know God can accomplish? I have! In fact, lately, there are some things I’ve been praying about, and I’ve been struggling to have faith for those things. The Holy Spirit has reminded me of many things He’s done for our family in the past, and by remembering those answered prayers and breakthroughs it’s been an incredible gateway to the greater faith I need for NOW.

Let my story be a gateway for the greater faith YOU need!

My favorite Bible verse is Ephesians 3:20.

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this, He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you."

Another version says, God is able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine!! That’s hard to comprehend!!

Help My Unbelief

I’m reminded of a story in Mark 9 of a father who went to Jesus needing prayer for his son who had a mute spirit. The spirit caused the son to be mute, to have horrible seizures, and would cause him to self-harm. In verses 23-24 Jesus said to the father of the son, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the child’s father cried out and said with tears,

"Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!”

I find myself saying that very prayer when I’m faced with what seems to be an impossible situation. “Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!”

There have been times when my faith has wavered from high to low and in between. During those times I’ve felt like I’ve failed God. Have you ever felt that way? God has proven Himself over and over in times past, yet why is it still hard to believe at times? And it amazes me that in God’s loving-kindness, He doesn’t rebuke us for struggling to believe.

YOU need to know....God loves you beyond your doubt and is able to do more than you could imagine!!

In April of 2019, God called our family to move to Kansas City, MO, for my husband to participate in an internship with a well-known ministry. There was so much change rapidly happening once God told us we needed to go. He told us only 6 weeks before the internship was to begin. During this time, so much took place. Not only did we need to find someone to rent our house, but we needed to pack our whole house to move out. We also needed to find new housing in KC and raise financial support for the ministry God called Brent to. At the time, my children were 10 months, 2, 4, and 6 years old. It was very supernatural how everything fell into place in just six weeks (more to share on that!!). I truly consider that season a time of miracles for our family.

Our Miracle

One miracle He performed for us was our housing situation. The internship that Brent was participating in was as an intercessory missionary with the International House of Prayer. It wasn’t a paid position, and most missionaries would raise support as early as 6 months before attending. In our case, we had only 6 weeks to raise support! Brent was quitting his full-time salaried position in the family glass business, our only income. This was such a leap of faith for us!

As we searched for housing to prepare for our move, we experienced a challenging obstacle. To be approved for housing, we needed a job offer letter or a couple of months’ worth of pay stubs, proving 3x the income of the monthly rent we would be paying. Both of which we didn’t have! How do you explain to landlords that you “live by faith” and are “trusting in God”? We were actively trying to raise support as missionaries, but we didn’t have proof of what God would provide through His people. We believed and had confidence God would provide what we needed (Mt. 6 & 7), but we couldn't substantiate it for these very practical realities we were facing!

The challenge we faced at that time was a juxtaposition of our faith and our reality, yet we continued moving forward. It was not easy, and I particularly faced a wall of discouragement while my husband seemed to be with unwavering faith. As we began fundraising and attempting to gather support from friends, family and our local church, we sent out around 75 letters. We received a response with commitments from only about 10 people- and like Gideon's Army I was beginning to question if that was enough people for the financial battle we would face. The commitments we received from people were a blessing, but honestly, it wasn’t even enough to cover our monthly grocery bill.

After applying to several apartments and duplexes, there was no success and door after door was being shut. I felt very discouraged, wondering if anything would open up for us. Brent and I agreed that even if nothing opened up, we would start our way to Kansas City, trusting that God would make a way as we moved forward in faith-quite literally.

You see, faith takes ACTION, and we were confident that God was calling us there. Despite the challenges, God gave us supernatural resilience against our odds. However, I have to admit that my expectations were pretty low. At the time, I listened to many opinions and voices around me and let that form my opinion of what I thought was possible.

Our house sat on a six-acre property that neighbored our family, and we were in a quiet rural neighborhood. We were about to move from our home of nine years—the house where we brought every child home from the hospital. We had many wonderful pets and weren’t sure if we could take them along! We were giving up so much for something we had no secure plan for. In the natural, our decision appeared unwise. People even told us so. But we knew God was calling us to something new. The change scared me!

God's Kindness

In God’s kindness, He would tell me things like, “Am I not God?” “Just trust me.” “Everything is going to work out.” He prompted me to list the things I wanted in our home before we moved to KC. So here was my list:

1. I want to live in a house.

2. I want “enough” room for our family.

3. I want to be in a safe neighborhood.

4. I want a fenced-in yard for our children to play safely.

5. I want us to be able to take our dogs with us. (The fenced yard would be for them too!)

Making that list forced me to TRUST and stop concerning myself with the what-ifs and the assumptions of how things would be.

I honestly didn’t consider that a house would be an option for us because my mind couldn’t wrap around the idea of how it was possible (given our circumstances). But after every other door closed, what did we have to lose by pursuing a house?

As the date approached before we were scheduled to move, I happened to find a house for rent on Facebook. After reaching out to the assisting agent, Brent and I were able to do a video tour of a 5-bedroom house that was only minutes from the ministry prayer room! The rent was higher than we thought we could pay, but we didn’t want to put limits on God. We were living by faith, and nothing was set in stone, so if God would provide that house for us, then He could provide the rent! After speaking with the listing agent, he put me in contact with the property manager. I had a phone call with the manager, and after a brief conversation, he asked me a question. He said, “How do I know you will pay the rent?” I responded, “Because my God is faithful, and He’s always provided for our needs.” Then he replied, “Well, I live by faith too. So let’s do it, I’ll send you the lease!” I couldn’t believe that moment. It was so easy. So simple. God set us up with the right person and gave us favor!!! We signed the lease just NINE DAYS before we were scheduled to move. It felt like the 11th hour, but it wasn’t, God was faithful like He said He would be!!

I want to encourage you today that God will be faithful to you as He said He would be! And it will be BETTER than you imagined!

The incredible thing about the house, was that it met everything on my list!! Now, it didn’t come in the exact package I thought it would, but God met every one of our needs and our desires. The landlord was okay with us bringing our pets with us,we had a fenced-in yard, and a 5-bedroom house and He surprised us in ways we didn’t even know how to ask for. The location was minutes from the prayer room. It was in a safe neighborhood. We just couldn’t have picked it any better on our own!

So what are you believing for? Let my faith be your faith. Let my story be a gateway for the greater faith YOU need! Comment below what your believing for or email me a prayer request, I would love to pray for you!